To my friends who keep on asking me why I am writing about my husband’s problems on the internet or even talking about it in public I repeat and this time I also put it in writing, I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed anymore.
I was against mentioning the problems he once had but today I am, in a funny way, almost proud to share them. What people don’t know or refuse to understand is that by talking about Robin’s past with alcohol and drugs more often we will all realise that there is actually other people out there going through very rough times due to their own issues with addiction and that most of them are either in denial or don’t have the courage to address it. Some may not even think it is a problem that can be dealt with.

Yes, Robin is no longer using and has stopped doing twenty years ago but an addict will always be an addict. When I say to you readers, that my man was drinking and taking drugs every single day but now isn’t and doesn’t even imagine his life with any mood altering substances, I am actually trying to make you understand that there is hope, people can change.
Some people may think they are at the end of their life, they have touched the rock bottom, in short, that nothing can be done to save them. No it is not the end if they are still alive. Plenty of people have been through it and have managed to get out of it why couldn’t they?

If I don’t share, how would everyone know? How some of you, who like me had no idea whatsoever about what addiction was would know? Addiction like so many terrible things in life such as diabetes is a disease. It is not a behaviour (like I used to think), a way of life, a rebellion, an adventure, or something led by curiosity. People are born addicts. Robin was born addict, so were both his father and brother. It is a condition they will have to live with for the rest of their life. They have to work on it every single day (meetings, self help groups, paying attention etc…). Robin for instance does not drink alcohol in any shape or form. At home for example mouthwashes have to be alcohol free, coq au vin has to be coq au grape juice, any flambés (flambéd the english way) meals are done using alternatives and so on.
To reach that new lifestyle he had to change everything starting with his friends, hobbies, of course receive treatments…

I am not ashamed to talk and share about this, above all when I know it will help. I am proud.

Mimi Chin Up Lefever